Cycle Day 9 - day 8 of stims...

I had my 2nd ultrasound along with blood work this morning since starting the stim meds. The first one on Wednesday wasn’t very exciting so nothing really to report then, lol. Today is CD9 (cycle day) and last IVF they had me trigger on CD9- meaning they had me give myself the shot that forces ovulation and then the ER (egg retrieval) was the next day. This time they are having me go more slowly because I responded very quickly to the meds last time and they think that my eggs may have been too mature. Dr. B said there looks to be 15-20 follicles that are growing (squeee!). My uterine lining is at a 7.6 (optimal is at least an 8) and everything is progressing as it should. I go back on Sunday (CD11) for another ultrasound and blood test. Dr. B said this morning that if he had to guess he thinks the ER would be either Wednesday or Thursday of next week (CD14 or 15). I’m waiting to hear from the nurses this afternoon to see if there is a change in my meds. So far this is what I have been doing:


5iu (International Units) of Lupron. This is what my meds look like – please keep in mind they yours could look different.

Using the syringe in draw back 5iu of air, put it into the plunger of the vial and release the air in there. Then I draw back 5iu of the liquid. The needle is very small but I still ice my stomach before I inject it.
Next is 75iu of Menupor.

This one has 2 vials. One is filled with liquid (saline maybe?) and the other a power form of the medication. This is kept in the refrigerator. I put that plastic cap on the end of the syringe (it’s already on the syringe in the picture) and draw back 1iu of air. Then using the cap (it has a sharp end) I click it onto the top of the vial with the liquid and inject the air. I draw back 1iu of liquid and immediately throw the vial with the liquid away. I then switch out the cap for a needle and inject the liquid into the vial with the powder (I throw away the liquid vial because now that the powder is dissolved into the liquid they look very much alike). I draw ALL of the now dissolved powder into the syringe. This needle is small but it might be a little thicker so I use the ice to numb my stomach before I inject it.

Last but not least is the 150iu of Follistem.

This was the only medication I was on last IVF as well as the 2 IUI’s I did with injectable meds. This one is very simple. It comes in this handy case with a “pen” application. The vials are separate and this medication also needs to be refrigerated. You put the vial in- it’s long and skinny and I just keep it in the “pen” until the vial is empty and I need to put a new one in. Screw the pen top on and you turn the dial on the bottom to the number you need, in my case 150. The needle is very thin – you can hardly see it in the photo. So I usually just pinch the skin on my stomach and stick it in without ice. There is a button at the bottom of the “pen” that you slowly push to dispense the meds. Easy peasy.

I want to explain everything that I’m doing and what I’m going through because when I did the first IVF I was unable to find a blog that told me everything that was going to happen. Of course the blogs I found were wonderful to read on experiences and the emotional aspect of this journey but I wanted someone to tell me what I was going to expect and what I could possibly have to do. What are all these meds they are sending me and what the heck am I supposed to do with them? Of course the nurse sits down with you and goes over everything but I wanted to know NOW not when I was at the appropriate part of my cycle, haha. Knowledge is power and I feel like if I know what I’m going to expect then I’m more relaxed about it… I think that’s why I don’t have that much anxiety about this second IVF because I did it once before and I kind of know what’s going to happen – even though so far all medication protocol is completely different than what I did before.

I just got a call from the nurse and all the meds stay the same – my estrogen is 999, which I’m guessing is good (I’ll have to consult Dr. Google). So I go back in on Sunday and we’ll see what happens then 

Annnnnd... GO!

After 12 days of 10iu (international units) of Lupron, I finally got my period last night.
Let’s get this party started!

I went to the doctor this morning for blood work, baseline (internal) ultrasound and a consult with the nurse about the treatment plan. First I have to say, I love my clinic. The IVF nurses are so nice – the one I saw today totally took the time to sit with me for 30 minutes and go over everything and was so sympatric about losing all of the embryos last time.

She said that on the treatment plan for this cycle it says that the oxygen level for the embryos are to be at 5% - she said that the doctor would only write that if he thought that might have been a contributing factor last time (it’s always at 20%. 5% is what it is inside the womb). Also in the notes it said that upon review of the case they feel that my follicles matured too fast last time and I was triggered too late – that when they did the retrieval they thought that my eggs were too large. So along with the new medication protocol, the 5% oxygen for the embryos I am going to be triggered a day earlier this time (triggering means a shot of HCG which will force the follicles to release the eggs. I will also do a shot of Follistem that evening too).

So let’s talk about the meds… I will be giving myself 3 (THREE!) shots a night. Last time it was one. I have never given myself more than one shot at a time. Oh boy – I am going to run out of room on my abdomen! I’ll be doing 5iu of Lupron, 150iu of Follistem and 75iu of Menopur (starting tonight). I go back for blood work on Monday (cd4) and then blood work and ultrasound on Wednesday (cd6). Last time I triggered on cd9 because my follicles matured quicker than they thought, it’s usually 12-16 days. So who knows when I’ll trigger this time? I’m not sure when my ER or ET will be (egg retrieval / embryo transfer). I’m both excited and nervous… I am happy we are finally getting the process started but I’m of course nervous because of what happened last time. I’ll also start the castor oil packs tonight… can’t wait to see hubs reaction to that! He’s usually is like,” what… are you doing?” Then I tell him whatever crazy thing I am doing and why and he just rolls his eyes – HA!

I’ll keep you posted - xo

Obsess much?

I know (I know I know) this is not healthy. I know (I know I know) that I am obsessing way too soon… I haven’t even started the stims meds yet (day 11 on Lupron so hopefully my period will show any day -like today would be a good day- then stims day 2).
But I cannot stop looking up pregnancy.


Twin pregnancy.
Twin Births.
Twin Nursing.
Twin Blogs.
…sigh.

I am telling myself that I am trying to calm my fears about the possibility of twins. I’m telling myself that I am thinking positive and preparing for what IS GOING to happen. I am telling myself I needn’t worry how I’ll feel if this doesn’t work this time because it IS GOING to work. I am trying not to think about what happened last time after our egg retrieval. I am trying to think about it ALL working. I’m trying to think about this miracle happening for us and this 29 month journey through heartbreak and infertility will be over soon because I will finally be pregnant.

Happy.
Healthy.
Pregnant for the long haul.
Beautiful, happy, healthy baby(ies) growing in my womb.

I think about all the people I know who just had to go off the pill and then try a couple times (and a handful only had to wait one or two months) and they were pregnant like that I can’t imagine what that must feel like. I look at my sister in law who has 2 beautiful little girls and literally I feel like her husband just had to sneeze on her for her to get pregnant twice.

How does that feel?

How does it feel to just decide to have a baby, to have a beautiful miracle, and it just happens? To just be like, “let’s have a baby!” and a few months, even a year later, it just happens? To not have to go to a revolving door of doctor’s appointments, blood draws, ultrasounds… pills, self-injections (never ending self-injections), swollen and bruised stomachs, invasive procedures, everyone and their medical assistant having had a seat in front of your va-jay-jay, surgeries, month after heartbreaking month (year after heartbreaking year) of getting those negative tests…

I have to believe that this will be our turn. This will be the time when we will get our miracle.

Please, God.
Please.

Hope.

Today is one of those days… one of those days where I am just completely overwhelmed by the number of pregnant women in my office. There are currently 8 pregnant women that I know about – two I just realized they were pregnant when I saw their bellies today. Gah. I'm not jealous of their pregnancies and miracles… I’m not mad it’s them and not me… I just wish it was me too.


I keep trying to tell myself that this is the kind of thinking that stresses me out and is exactly what I am trying to avoid. I need to just let it go and not let myself get sad. But it’s just so hard when my two good friends here in the office (M&M) are literally days away from their due dates and I work very closely with them on a daily basis. You’d think I’d be over the belly envy but when I see another, and then yet another pregnant belly around the office… I can’t help but be sad.

I need to have hope. I need to be hopeful.

I got a text from a good friend of mine the other day and she said, I sent you a little something in the mail, you should get it in a day or two. I had no idea what to expect… then this showed up…

It absolutely floored me how thoughtful and sweet this was. It’s exactly what I needed – it’s exactly what I need to remind myself of on a daily basis. I need to have hope. I need to believe in miracles. I need to believe that this can and will happen for us. I need to have faith in our doctor and his team… I need to have faith in God that we will be granted this wish that we want oh so deeply.

And it begins.

First let me go over what a Down Regulation Protocol is.  Down Reg, or the long protocol, starts in the middle of one cycle and continues through the next.  You are generally started on a medication that will basically tell your pituitary gland to not produce the hormones that tell your follicles to release eggs.  It pretty much turns off your reproductive cycle so that the doctor has all the control with the stimulation medication that you start when the next cycle begins.

So here we are.  I have been so anxious to start the down reg IVF cycle that now that the time is finally here… I am (surprisingly) very relaxed about it.  I have been really working on trying to not be so stressed about this; I really feel that stress has such a huge impact on the body.  I started to get a tad stressed when all the meds for this cycle came a couple weeks ago.

Here they are – this is what $7,000 in Fertility Medication looks like.  Thank goodness for insurance or we would not be able to do this.

Doesn't look like much huh?  Here we have some antibiotics to start before and after the egg retrieval (I think), alcohol wipes, a lot of syringes with another bag full of different gauge needles, Lupron , Follistem (along with the Follistem pen to administer it), Menopur, HCG trigger shot and Progesterone in Oil (PIO).  Five different injections this cycle.  If that didn't cause a little stress then I clearly have been at this too long, lol.

I started the Lupron on Sunday night (please excuse the chipped bowl I use for my ice cube, lol).  Ice is the key folks.  Just hold it on the injection site for 25 seconds and I swear you don’t feel a thing.

This is the fourth cycle with injectable meds so I don’t have any jitters with giving myself injections anymore.  Kind of crazy that I’m used to jabbing myself in the stomach with a needle?  I’m not feeling any side effects but I currently have a cold so that could be masking it.  Some people say that they have major headaches and mood swings.  I've only given myself 2 injections so far and the only thing I have noticed is that I don’t have much tolerance for stupidity (haha) but I tend to be that way when not feeling well so like I said, it could be the cold.

In an attempt to try and relax and de-stress during the down reg I ordered a yoga dvd.  Sounds like it would be a simple task but- it was not.  There really are a lot of yoga dvd’s and I had a heck of a time choosing one.  I have taken a few yoga classes in the past but I still consider myself a beginner.  Then I started to think about how my ovaries are going to be ginormous and I needed to be careful about anything that would have me twisting too much… which had me start to think that I should look at prenatal yoga.  I had a really hard time doing that because I feel like it’s kind of “cart before the horse” and what if this doesn't work I am going to have this flippin dvd laying around…

I really hemmed and hawed over this for a few days.  I know that sounds a bit dramatic and over the top but I honestly was afraid to jinx myself.  There I said it.  Doesn't that sound silly?  Like a prenatal yoga dvd is going to change the cosmos and impact the results of the cycle- that all of the other things and the injections I am doing are going to be for nothing the second I click the “add to cart” button… I finally told myself to get over it and ordered the stupid thing.  Haha.  I mean, I want to have a relaxing yoga dvd and I want to be careful of my gigantic ovaries so it makes sense to get a prenatal dvd, right?  I seriously think I was making this harder than it needed to be.  (I tend to do that sometimes, if you haven't noticed - hey at least I'm honest with myself!) 

This is the one that I got – should be coming in the mail today.  Doesn't she look very relaxed?  Haha.  I’ll let you know how it is…

xo j.

Desparate times... things I'm doing differently this IVF Cycle

I may be swan diving jumping off the deep end... and I am starting to get nervous/excited for our upcoming (and more than likely last) IVF cycle.  I started looking into some natural things that I can do to help our chances.  I don't want to take any more supplements than I'm already taking (and the FS knows about them) because I don't want anything that can potentially interact with the prescribed fertility meds.  But there has to be something else that I can do...

Royal Jelly. Bee Pollen and Propolis

**Ok, does it need to be said that if you have a bee allergy this is not the stuff for you?
Pretty much it's the magic stuff that makes the Queen Bee produce all of those eggs.  There aren't any concrete medical studies that I was able to find but plenty (millions) of testimonials suggesting that that ingesting this really helps your quality and quantity of eggs.  Many acupuncturists recommend this to their patients and also a very popular infertility book, The Infertility Cure by Randine Lewis, suggests this as one of the super foods to help beat infertility (I have not read this book so I do not know exactly what it says but many people referred to this book as the reason as to why they started taking it).  It also has many many other health benefits - just Google it!

Ideally you should start taking this at least 90 days before the desired cycle so I'm a little late to the party here.  But I did find quite a few people who said they started it not long before their ER (egg retrieval) and the Royal Jelly cycle vs prior cycles produced eggs that were noticeably better quality and more eggs than they ever had - even without changes in their medical protocol.  Most resulted in BFP's -big fat positives, as in positive pregnancy test- and those that didn't had other underlying conditions.  It's considered a food based supplement so there wouldn't be any interaction with any of the medications.  I've read that you take it only up until ER and you should not take it if you are pregnant or nursing.

You can take it in two forms - a capsule or fresh (jelly).  I got the fresh kind mixed with honey.  This came in the mail today (guess where I got it from... lol).  Many many reviewers said that this is what they took prior to their IVF/IUI cycles and credit this for helping them to achieve their BFP's)

 

It smells kind of like honey - but different.  It's very thick, like caramel.  It doesn't taste that bad.  You cannot mix it with anything hot so basically you just eat a teaspoon 2x a day (on an empty stomach).  You also do not put it in the refrigerator (although I read about some raw ones that can be found at some health food stores that need to be refrigerated).  I started it today... so we'll see!

Flax Seeds

Another thing that I read about are Flax Seeds.  They are really good for uterine health, balancing hormones and boosting fertility.  Well this is something that I already had started to eat almost daily (score), but will be bumping it up to 2 tablespoons a day (recommended for fertility). 
These seeds have been around since 3000BC but have started to really be seen in many products on the shelves in 2010 (that is the shelves not in the organic section and shelves outside of a health food store).  The health benefits of these little gems are astounding, Omega 3 essential fatty acids (the good fats that have been shown to have heart healthy benefits), Lignans and Fiber.

I have eaten a couple brands, this just happens to be the one I have right now.

I don't know the benefits of eating the whole seeds versus the ground- that's something I'll have to look into.  But for now I have the ground.  I don't recommend eating this plain, mix it in something like yogurt or oatmeal.  It adds a nutty flavor that I really like - I have added this to breads and muffins in the past... so many ways to get this into your diet.  But for the IVF purpose at hand - I will be eating it in my daily yogurt (usually a low fat Greek yogurt).

Raspberry Leaf Tea

Let me start by saying... this does not taste like raspberries.  At.  All.  Don't let the name fool you - it tastes like dirt.  LOL.  But I put a little honey it and it makes a world of difference.
This tea is something that some say to drink to help stimulate labor.  But drinking it while trying to get pregnant is said to help to tone the muscles of the pelvic region, including the uterus.  This tea is said to help improve uterine health where there is uterine weakness present- like for me having had the surgery to remove the septum (heart shaped uterus). This may also help to prevent miscarriage (when used when preparing for pregnancy).

This is the one that I am currently drinking.  You should drink at least 1 cup a day (some recommend 1-3) prior to ovulation.  It says that it's safe to drink during pregnancy as it helps to tone the uterus but I think I would be afraid to since if it helps to promote labor... wouldn't that mean it helps to start contractions?  I'll have to look into drinking this tea during pregnancy later on but for now I will stop once I take my HCG trigger shot (to make me ovulate).

Castor Oil Packs:

Ok, this might be where I am a little off my rocker jumping off the deep end (if I have not already).  A castor oil pack is a flannel cloth soaked in castor oil and applied to the lower abdomen which is thought to help circulation.  It is also thought to help ovarian, fallopian tube, uterine and egg health.

Castor oil packs stimulate 2 important parts of the body: lymphatic and circulatory systems.  The lymphatic system removes toxins and waste from the area stimulated by the castor oil pack.  Stimulation of the lymphatic system happen when you apply the castor oil pack externally over the reproductive system. This helps to cleanse the reproductive organs and promote healing of damaged tissues where the pack is applied.

The circulatory system consists of parts of the heart, blood, veins and arteries. It runs throughout the entire body.  The promotion of circulation by a castor oil pack will bring in fresh oxygenated, nutrient rich blood to the reproductive organs, including the uterus.  Hey - it's worth a try right?

This is what I have ordered (from my favorite online retailer).  How it works it you put the flannel cloth in a bowl and pour the castor oil over it - you don't want the flannel to be dripping but you want it to be saturated.  You lie down and place the cloth on your lower abdomen.  You then put a piece of plastic (like a cut up grocery bag) over the pack, then a heating pad.  The heat helps the castor oil do it's thang.  The castor oil will stain so make sure you have old clothes and an old towel under you.  Keep this on for 30-45 minutes.  After you remove it, clean the area with water/baking soda solution.  Store the pack in a covered bowl (or ziplock) in the fridge - one pack can be used 25-30 times.  This is also something you want to do up until ET (egg transfer).  After the transfer you don't want any sort of heat on the lower abdomen (no hot water bottles or heating pads).

So yeah.  This is what I'll be doing.  I'm also giving up caffeine and alcohol.  Yep - the entire cycle and a half will be caffeine and alcohol free.  I am mainly caffeine free already, except for the occasional half decaf/half regular or sometimes on the weekends the coffee just smells too good to resist a cup (the hubs drinks a lot of coffee).  But my wine... sigh.  That will be hard.  But once I get pregnant I'll be giving up both for a long time so no biggie, right?

**I am not a doctor or a health professional.  Also, any of the products that I talk about on here are things that I found through my own research and am not, in any way, compensated for using or talking about them**

xo j.

Gender Swaying Anyone?

Has anyone ever heard of “gender swaying?” I was doing an internet search on healthy foods to eat while TTC (trying to conceive) and came across a couple different forums where people were talking about eating foods for gender swaying.


What is Gender Swaying you ask? From what I read, gender swaying is “implementing changes in your lifestyle, diet and TTC methods to increase your odds of conceiving a certain gender.”

For. Real.

I am not here to judge anyone- I actually think it’s really interesting and although I’m not all that convinced that it works the science that people put behind it is really fascinating. It also seems to be a hot button topic on some boards that I have seen (once I became curious and started doing an internet search on it). Some people get very up in arms it- almost to the point of being offended that it’s even being suggested. To that I say, to each their own. If you don’t like it – then don’t do it. I’m just looking for a healthy and happy baby myself.

So, anyway, if I understand it correctly, you can change your diet to a more alkalized (boy) or acidic (girl) to conceive a certain gender. I’ve also seen where some people say eating a lot of dairy – cheese, milk, and yogurt – and processed foods helps in “swaying” towards a girl. Eating more potassium – bananas and potatoes – and adding salt “sway” towards a boy. There are a bunch of food lists out there. I also saw that some people swear by having sex at different times of the day and at different times in your cycle will also impact the gender sway… a couple sites even suggested the pattern of the moon! It seems that most agree it mainly has a lot to do with the pH of your vag. One woman swore by drinking a concoction of baking soda and water a couple times a day and then sticking a finger full of baking soda up the “love canal” prior to having sex and that was how she had all boys.

Ok.

Once again, to each their own… but… no. There will be nothing that I use for baking cookies going up there.

I compared the two food lists and I pretty much eat a mainly a “boy” diet. I guess it’ll be interesting to see if our IVF is successful next month if we end up being blessed with a boy(s).