Twiddling My Thumbs

The nurse told me on June 10th that the doctors and embryologists will be meeting to review my case and then the doctor will give me a call.


By June 28th I still hadn’t heard anything so I decided to call myself. The nurse said that the doctor was on vacation but that he wants us to come in for a meeting to discuss some options as to what we can do next. One of them is using ½ donor sperm and another one is going to Cornell in Manhattan. She briefly explained that they would take some tissue from my uterus and make some sort of fluid that the embryos would be grown in. I would have to go to New York for the ER and the ET but I could still do the blood work and ultrasounds in their office. So we have an appointment for July 18th to go in and talk to Dr. B about all these new things. What we need to know first though is what, if anything, our insurance will cover. Unfortunately at this point it comes down to what we can afford. We have been extremely lucky for the insurance coverage we have had so far but we know it won’t last much longer and we may have tapped it out.

The doctor has had me start to take CoQ10- 300iu 2x a day. I Googled it a little bit and it is for heart health mainly but it also helps with cellular growth. I also saw it discussed on some message boards and from what I read, a lot of women credit it for helping them conceive. So… we’ll see.

We have actually been enjoying this little break. I haven’t had all this weighing on the fore front of my mind 24 hours a day… thinking about when my next shot will be and when I have to go in for blood work and ultrasounds. There have been moments when I forget and just live and have an honest to goodness good time laughing and being happy. My sister was here from Germany for the month of June with her husband (he was only here for a few weeks) and their 2 ½ yr old daughter. It was so great to have her here for this month and I hate when she leaves.

On Sunday, after my sister left, the hubs and I were floating in the pool on our rafts and talking about all this stuff. Bottom line is we have to wait and see what the doctor says and we’ll figure out the money situation. I’m nervous about spending all that money when there is no guarantee that it’s going to 100% be successful. Of course I can’t go into this thinking that way but it is hard not to. We also discussed adoption. Hubs knows 2 couples who went through the adoption process and hearing their stories really freaked him out about. Neither couple had a positive experience and because he knows people in real life it makes it harder for him to take in the shiny happy stories that you find online. We decided that it is an option to keep on the table but for now it’s something for down the road for “if.”

On a completely unrelated topic I have been experimenting with Paelo. It actually hasn’t been as hard as I thought to cut out all the dairy and wheat/gluten. I even refused ice cream the other night – which is huge for me because ice cream was one of my loves! But I didn’t have the craving for it like I used to, which is something that I read about in one of my books. So we’ll see how this all works out but I have definitely been sleeping better and I noticed when I do eat like I used to (we went to my grandmother’s for a BBQ and I didn’t follow Paelo) I felt like garbage and slept horribly. The food prep is a lot more work and it’s easier to grab for processed convenience foods but I know that I feel better eating the Paelo way so I am making the effort. So far so good :)