Limbo

I went to get my blood drawn again on Monday June 10th and yes, my numbers were in the negatives. Duh- I wish I could’ve saved myself the trip because my period started that morning. I looked it up online and because I had IVF the period after the chemical pregnancy was more like a miscarriage. Let me tell you, it was like nothing I had ever experienced. I will save you the gory details just that it was very very very heavy and there was A LOT of stuff. I had very bad cramps and lower back ache but what was really weird was that I also had a lot of pressure in my uterus, which sounds strange but that’s the only way I can describe it. It said online that since I had (2) embryo(s) put in that the body was starting to get ready for a pregnancy because they were fertilized. Then since the cells started to divide and give off the hCG hormone things really started to get ready… but then the cells died.


So, yeah.

As with our first IVF, we’re now waiting for the doctors and embryologists to get together to discuss our case. Good news is that I was able to (kind of) get pregnant. I’m just hoping that they can figure out something new to do that will help me to get all-the-way pregnant. This time I think we have to pay out of pocket, which I know that a lot of couples have to do right from the start. We are very fortunate that we had up until now the insurance coverage that we did. We have to wait and see what kind of costs we are looking at and then at what kind of payment plan they provide.

The thing that really depresses me (obviously besides the not being pregnant thing) is the amount of weight that I have gained since I started on fertility drugs in December 2011. I already had a little bit of extra weight on but now I have another 40 pounds. I kept telling myself that it would be worth it in the end because I would be pregnant but now here we are with 3 IUI’s and 2 IVF’s under our belt (not to mention all the cycles on just clomid) and all I have to show for it is this big butt. I am not, however, going to sit here and completely blame the meds for packing on the pounds. They made me extremely hungry and had me hold onto any extra weight that I put on but they didn’t make me make poor food choices. That is on me.

I have decided that I need to do something while we’re waiting. I can’t keep going the way that I have been. The doctor swears that my weight has nothing to do with me not getting pregnant but I’m sure it doesn’t help. A lot of my friends on Facebook have been talking about the Paleo diet so I ordered “Paleo for Beginners” by John Chatham from Amazon. I should get it on Friday but I have been reading a lot about it online and it looks really interesting. I’m excited and I will of course keep you all posted on my experience. I need something to occupy my time while we’re here in limbo.