"Hey, I had a really weird dream..."

I was having an awesome dream... kind of Hunger Games-esq with the fashionable outfits, the jungle and the nifty bow and arrow skills... then I heard a strange sound... kind of like one of those horn blows you hear in the movies when people on horse back are going hunting...

Wait a minute... dream over.  That's the hubster's text message indicator.  Yes that seriously is his message indicator.  Ughhh it must be early because it's still mostly dark outside and son-of-a-bitch it's SATURDAY!  Now I'm aggravated.

"Was that your text message?"  
"Yup"
"Who the heck is texting you at this hour??"
"I don't know, I'm sleeping."

Well now I am not.  Awesome-sauce.  Anyone that knows me knows that I am a horrible sleeper and if I'm startled awake that's usually it (I'm hoping that when we kids they take after their dad in the sleeping department and I'll be so tired that I'll fall back to sleep like a normal person with the multiple middle of the night feedings).

<insert incredibly annoying horn sound again>

"ARE YOU GOING TO LOOK AT THE MOTHER F*CKING PHONE OR WHAT BECAUSE IT MUST BE IMPORTANT!?!?!"

So yeah, apparently I'm not that pretty when I'm suddenly woken up really early for no apparent reason on my day to sleep in.

"Oh, it's Rob, he wants to go fishing but... I have too much work to do today.  That sucks.  Hey, I had a really weird dream...I had a dream that we had a baby boy"

Squeeee!!!  Now I'm happy and all warm n' fuzzy inside because this is the first "we had a baby" dream that he's told me about.

"...so they handed him to me and they said he was perfect and when I looked at his face his eye was all bleeding and puss was everywhere..."

Okkkkk the warm fuzzy feeling just turned into a lead brick.

"...but they said that was ok and totally normal and it would go away.  So we take him home and it doesn't go away."

I don't like where this dream is heading...

"...we take him to the ER and they take him from us and won't let us follow the baby into the back.  Then I was going to the bathroom and I overheard two doctors talking about him and that it was a 50/50 shot that he could have cancer or that he'll lose his eye but they didn't see me.  So when they came out to the waiting room they just handed us our baby and said he was perfect.  They didn't say anything about him having cancer or losing an eye but that he needed glasses.  I didn't tell you what the doctor's said because I didn't want you to get upset.  When we looked at the baby he had on these big glasses.  Isn't that funny?  A tiny little baby with big glasses on?"

I'm having a hard time finding the humor.  I can't get past "bleeding" "puss" "cancer" "lose an eye."  But I've had some doozy of weird dreams in my day and ok, he isn't like psychic and making a prediction of what will happen with our future baby.  Maybe it's his own anxiety about this infertility/IVF roller coaster coming through and hijacking what started out as a nice "we had a baby boy" dream.

So I look at him and say, "wanna hear about the weird dream I had too?"

<and right now he's upstairs still sleeping and I'm downstairs on the couch with my laptop and the dog.  Go figure.>